Back Row Pew

My heart raced as I entered a church for the first time in decades. As a family, we didn’t attend regularly. Dad would drop us off at the Sunday school down the street when Gram T. would guilt him into it. So, God was not a topic of discussion but more often a swear word at home.

Something changed in a dark bar a few nights before that, as I celebrated my 30^th birthday. After dinner with my work friends, a few of us headed into the lounge as the karaoke drew us in. The darkness mirrored what was going on at home. My estranged husband had come over to babysit our 3-year-old daughter, and deep down it was hard to keep on a happy face.  As I sat having one more drink, suddenly the lights became brilliant around me, and I felt a Presence I never knew before. At that moment, I realized there was a God who loved me! Tears streamed down my face, whether fear, joy, or a mixture of both, I’m unsure. I left in a hurry without saying a word.

Next day, my coworker asked me how I was doing. She had been there as I cried my eyes out. I told her about the bright lights and God and my distress at home. Her kind eyes glistened as she suggested I tell my brother, Jim, about what had happened. She was a Christian, and a few months before I had told her about my brother talking about his faith with me. Then I had dismissed him as a crazy Jesus freak. Now I realized she was right. After work, I called Jim and he came right over.

Fast forward to the next Sunday as I walked into the Bible church holding my little girl’s hand. The women welcomed us and directed me to the childcare room. That morning, as I listened to the pastor read the Bible and began connecting the dots with what Jim had me reading that week, my heart became peaceful and I realized I needed to know God better.

Recently my friend Serena Ray and I wrote a song that describes what it was like accepting Jesus at church after hearing the truth of our need for Him. The song I share below was written with fond memories of that time in each of our lives. Please take time to listen to “Back Row Pew.”

Click below to listen to “Back Row Pew” written by Lynn Lilja and Serena Ray. Recorded by Joel Rose Recording