Titus 3:4-7 But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.
It was at my 30th birthday party that I learned that there was a God who loved me, and I was forever changed. A group of my work friends and I were gathered in a fine restaurant not far from home, and over dinner the topic turned to religion. One friend asked if I was an agnostic, and I replied, “No, I am an atheist.” Suddenly all ten of them stopped talking, and that helped change the subject. What a relief. The last thing I wanted to talk about was religion.
Later, a few of us decided to stay for a few more drinks. The lights suddenly became very bright for me in that dark bar, and I felt a Presence I never had before. God is real, I thought. At that moment, I realized He loved me, and I wept uncontrollably for some time. I left with no explanation.
When I arrived home, I slurred to my husband, “I’ve had a religious experience, and I’m going to bed.” He had only come over to babysit our little daughter while I went to my party, and he left in a hurry. He had moved out a few weeks earlier. Those were troubled times in our marriage.
When a professed atheist believes that God exists, it’s a mountain-moving experience. The next day at our lunch break, I shared what happened the night before with Sally (not her real name), a fellow administrative assistant who had been part of the celebration. She had been in the bar when I started to cry. At lunch that day, Sally encouraged me to call my brother, Jim, whom she knew was a follower of Jesus.
Long story short (you can read the rest in my soon-to-be released memoir, “A Goldilocks Life”) I started attending church with Jim, and there I began to understand what the Bible says in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” I trusted in Jesus Christ after reading in the Bible, “Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life…” John 3:36.
My life changed drastically. I quit the rock band and partying. I prayed for the first time in my life, and my husband moved back home. I grew in my faith and knowledge of Jesus Christ with my brother’s encouragement and solid teaching at our church.
However, as days turned into weeks and weeks into years, I became proud of my Christian way of life. It was subtle at first, but I began to think I had to be good enough and keep every rule I heard in church. After a cross-country move to Arizona, the pastor at my new church taught a rule-following approach to pleasing God. As an immature follower of Jesus, I didn’t know any of these distinctions and just followed whatever the pastor told us. Sally, the friend who encouraged me to call my brother, unfriended me when I visited back home and told her how to rightly live for God—do, do, do. —don’t, don’t, don’t.
The Lord led us as a family to Colorado, and at my new church the pastor faithfully taught from the Bible about God’s grace and truth. I realized the freedom Jesus Christ had given me. Too much truth without grace equals harshness, and too much grace without truth becomes an excuse to sin. It was like a breath of fresh air to step away from the rule-keeping way of living the Christian life.
I pray you won’t get caught up in always checking boxes and trying to please God by doing, like I did. Good works are an outflow of the inward life of Christ as we are led by the Holy Spirit. Please avoid the trap of works-based religion and instead follow Jesus by walking in His ways day by day. The result—joy unspeakable and peace trusting what the Bible says in Titus 3, verses 4-7 (above). Like the evangelist Jonathan Edwards said. “You contribute nothing to your salvation except the sin that made it possible.”
A Goldilocks Life 